• #89 #90 #91 #92 #93 #94 #95 #96 #97



    General Emmanuel Alejandro Nogeira aka Cara Pina, pineapple face-Chapter 2 target, the dictator of Bananama, who comes into play throughout the book.

    Del Grossman-Pilot of plane that has the governor and lieutenant governor on board.

    Rona Ripper-TV news journalist and gubernatorial candidate.

    Enrique Espiritu Esperanza-Candidate who is winning over the people with Oreos.

    Harman Cashman-His campaign manager.

    Carlos Lugan-Campaign worker.

    Barry Black, Jr-Candidate who is more than a little flaky.

    Cheeta Ching-TV news anchor and Chiun's love.

    Fred Huntoon and Gregory Sagadelli-Union men who are convinced by Chiun to help Esperanza.

    Jambo Jambone X, aka Melvin Dicer, Dexter Dogget, and Rollo-Gang members convinced by Remo.

    Queque Baez-Sniper stopped by Chiun by driving his scope into his brain.

    Jade Ling-TV newswoman.

    Blaise Perrin-Ripper campaign manager.

    Dick Webb-FBI forensic specialist.

    Al Bruss-Retired schoolteacher who decides to leave California.


    Another mention of Remo having had a lot of plastic surgery through the years.

    Smitty is able to leave off all his medicines since the poisoning of #88.

    Remo still dials a string of ones to call Smitty.

    Remo has a bunch of names this time, Remo Drake, Cannon, Custer, and Gerrymander plus all the names Cheeta calls him, Demo, Nemo, Rambo, Romeo, Nero, Ramiro, and Vito.

    Chiun is in favor of cultimulcherism, (multiculturism)

    Esperanza means "hope" in english. In Chinese it is Syiwang. Japanese, Kibo. Korean, Somang.

    Chiun thinks his sterilization may have reversed.

    Remo gets wolf whistles in San Francisco from construction workers. He gives them half a peace symbol.

    Chiun likes the lemonlight (limelight)

    Another book where people learn about the presidential assassin, Chiun, and Smitty near panics when it has been demonstrated how easily Remo and Chiun can make people forget.

    Chiun tells the story of his first trip into the city, where he meets a beautiful city girl, Ch'amnari. He sleeps with her and she takes his money. He gets it back of course and has fond memories of the experience. Cheeta Ching reminds him of that girl.


    I will dispatch no enemies for no money.

    You Americans would eat rubber, if it were sweet.


    When the governor and lieutenant governor of California are killed in a plane crash, a special election to replace them has to be held. When assassination attepts are made on the candidates, Remo and Chiun are sent in to control things. Chiun joins the ranks for the candidate who is winning votes with Oreos.


    This one is enjoyable. Good satire on life in California and the political process. Fun characters even without a dangerous villain for Remo and Chiun.



    Manuel "The Weasel" Silva-Chp 2 target posing as Lewis Theobald at a class reunion.

    Pam, Sty Sterling, Debby Holland, Jennifer "Cookie" Friend, and fredd Fish-Reunion attendees.

    Randal Tiberius Rumpp-Broke, former billionaire, author of The Scam of the Deal.

    Dorma Wormser-His secretary.

    Igoria-His ex-wife.

    Joline-Dog that falls into the earth.

    Delpha Rohmer-The White Witch.

    Alan Longstreet-Rumpp banker.

    Dunbar Grimspoon-Rumpp attorney.

    Der Skumm-Rumpp architect.

    Rair Brashnikov aka the Krahseevah-The Russian with the suit.

    Knute Gruff-MBC news director.

    Yuli Batenin-Russian sent to find the suit.

    Mrs. Biliandinova-His neighbor.

    Rubomir Rushenko-Russian colonel.

    Igor Gerkoff-Russian captain.

    Gerard Vonneau-IRS agent.

    Gunilla-Hotel maid.

    Bulbul-Kazakh leader who sees people fall off the earth.


    Remo has a lot of names again, Remo Wausau, Remo Gavin, Edgar Perry, Rocco, Beppo, Geno, Guido, Frodo, Renko, and Chico.Chiun' green and gold trunk holds his shaman gear.

    Mudang is Korean for white witch.

    Proklyatye is Russian for damn.


    Delpha is a witch, Cheeta just rhymes.

    Why do men have nipples? Delpha

    Never trust a mudang.

    Chiun, we got Russians.
    Turn on the lights and they will scurry away.


    The Rumpp Tower has lost its substance. No one can go in or out without disappearinng into the earth. Remo and Chiun are sent to investigate and a witch shows up, too. Actually two witches if you count Cheeta. The problem is caused by an old enemy, the Krahseevah, the man who can walk through walls and travel through phone lines.


    The plot is weak but it is still fun to read. The Krahseevah is not much of an enemy but the Randal Rumpp stuff is great. I also like all the Cheeta Ching side plots.



    Uncle Sam Beasley-Creator of Monongahela Mouse and Dingbat Duck who died and was frozen in the 60s and has been brought back.

    Captain Ernest Maus-Beasley underling.

    Xavier Custodio-Cuban revolutionary.

    Fidel-President of Cuba.

    William "Trusty" Ayres III-US pilot who shoots down Cuban jet.

    Janio Perez-Another pilot.

    Leopold Zorilla-Cuban defector and army leader for Beasley.

    Dr. Osvaldo Revuelta-Leader of Cuban mercenaries who want to retake Cuba.

    Eider Drake-Chairman of Beasley Corporation.

    Ronald Phipps-Beasley employee.

    Bob Brown-Navy captain.

    Faustino Barranca-Cuban militiaman.


    Remo says if he eats beef he will go into toxic shock.

    Remo has 30 credit card accounts under 30 different Remo names.

    Remo Ricardo in this book.

    Remo means oar in Spanish.

    Remo whistles "Whistle While You Work" while he works.

    Remo screams in pain at the grip of Beasley.

    Smith does not want to negotiate due to lack of funds caused by the "procession".

    Chiun thinks that buccaneers are people like Wyatt Burp, Buffalo Beef, Catastrophe Jane, and other "slowpokes" who wear "half-pint" hats.


    Chiun begins to tell a story of a Master who performed a service for a single orange but Remo tunes it out and we are left the poorer for it.


    Wisdom bestowed upon a monkey is wisdom squandered.

    A ruler who cannot pass safely through his own kingdom does not truly rule.


    A failed innvasion of Cuba is blamed on the US. Fidel plans to retaliate. Remo is sent to find out who is really behind it. He finds a childhood hero back from the dead with his own plans to take Cuba and turn it into another theme park.


    Pretty good one here. Good use of Remo and Chiun. Uncle Sam is an interesting villain at first. He becomes overused later in the books but I liked him as a baddie in this one.



    Orvis Boggs, DeWayne Tubble, Sonny Smoot, and Roy Shortsleeve-Chapter two targets in prison.

    Doyce Deek-Murderer who Remo convinces to confess.

    Narvel Buckle-satellite company employee who gets the pictures of the dinosaur and sells them.

    Nancy Derringer-Cryptozoologist who wants the dinosaur.

    Skip King-Marketing man for Burger Triumph who wants the dinosaur.

    Old Jack aka N'yamala, Mokele m'bembe, and Punkin-The dinnosaur.

    Ralph Thorpe-British guide.

    Tyrone aka Slim-African guide.

    Colonel Mustard-Leader of Burger Berets.

    Sergeant Shakes-Member of the Burger Berets.

    Captain Relish-Commands the ship that transports the dinosaur.

    Malu-Commander of African ecology group.

    Oburu Sese Kuku Ngbendu wa za Banga-President of Gondwanaland.

    Cheeta Ching-TV news anchor.

    Frank Feldmeyer-TV science correspondent.


    Remo and Chiun take ownership of their "castle", a church turned condo near Boston. It is 2 or 3 stories high and has 16 rooms.

    Chiun takes his 14 trunks, including a gray one, a mother of pearl, a blue one, and a green and gold one.

    Remo and Chiun enjoy one lichee nut for a desert.

    Masters usually live to be 100-120 years old.

    Remo runs on hair. He runs across a crowd of people and only toches their hair.

    Remo is called Ringo by Cheeta.

    Remo mentions that Smitty's wife is built like an overstuffed sofa.

    Remo's nickname in Viet Nam was "The Rifleman" due to his sharpshooting ability.

    Remo wants to go after Dr, Gregorian.

    Remo and Chiun can smell a lie in someones sweat.


    Master Yong killed the last Chinese dragon and used up all the bones to prolong his life. He lived to be 148. The dragon's name was Wing Wang Wo.

    Master Bong discovered India.

    Master Nonga was deaf and dumb.

    One master got so broke that he taught some Sinanju to a man who started the charlatan art of Chiropractic.


    It is just like falling off a bicycle.

    Yelling is a sign of weakness.

    The tardy cook dinner.

    Only a fool would wager against a woman who owns a dragon.

    I can hear you fart before you do. Remo

    Colonel Mustard, in the sand, with egg on his face. Remo


    A dinosaur called an Apatosaurus is found living in Africa. A group of Americans go to get it. Remo is sent to protect them and the dinosaur but Chiun wants the bones of the dinosaur to prolong his life.


    I like this one. It is silly but very enjoyable to read. We learn something that could easily be used later to prolong the lives of Smitty and Chiun. The dinosaur is still alive at the end so the bones could be used later.



    Dr. Mordaunt Gregorian-Chapter 2 phone target of Remo.

    Don Cooder-BCN news anchor.

    Cheeta Ching-Soon to be mother and BCN news person.

    Rory the Gabby Gynecologist-Cheeta's husband.

    Trip Lutz-Washington reporter.

    Frank Feldmeyer-BCN science editor.

    Hale Storm-National correspondent.

    Tim Macaw-MBC anchor.

    Dieter Banning-ANC anchor.

    Jediah Burner-Cable news network owner KNNN.

    Layne Fondue-His wife and former Haiphong Hannah due to her protest work in Viet Nam.

    Melvin "Moose" Mulroy-Her bodyguard.

    Floyd Cumpsty-Former KNNN anchor.

    David Sinnott-KNNN station manager.

    Rebello-Police lieutenant.

    John Bundish-FBI division chief.

    Ned Doppler-ANC newsman.

    Dennis Nealon-MBC technical advisor.

    Dalt Conklin-Former BCN anchor.

    Melcher-KNNN program director.

    Roger Nodell-Stealth pilot for Remo and Chiun.

    Captain Audion-The bad guy who is secretly one of the people listed above.


    Smitty thought TV was only a fad in the 50s.

    Smitty liked Huntley and Brinkley as newsmen.

    Remo hates Rap and Heavy Metal music. He likes pre-Beatles rock.

    Remo destroys boom boxes by throwing them high in the air, way high, and waiting for them to return to earth.

    Remo is Remo Neilson and Remo Reynolds

    Cheeta calls him Ronco and Vino.

    Chiun is Wing Wang Wo.

    The first ancestor of Chiun's who was called Chiun is mentioned in the Bible in Amos 5:26. It is really there.

    Smitty is still enjoying his prune whip yogurt.

    Chiun helped Cheeta become pregnant by getting her to eat the whites of duck eggs boiled in rice 4 times a day to get her system in balance.


    A ghoul to some is a boon to others.

    Leave the room and the air will clear itself.

    I will remain here, my ears glued to KNNN.

    No one holds his tongue whom the Master of Sinanju holds by the throat.

    Rat's nests are not built in a day. Remo


    Someone is jamming TV signals all over the country. This could cause major problems nationwide so Remo is sent to find out who is behind it. Cheeta Ching is kidnapped so Chiun is busy worrying about her baby.


    Very silly plot and actions but I loved almost every bit of it. I remember first reading this one in 1993 and writing to Mr. Murray complaining about the killing of so many figures who are based on real peolpe. I always liked it when real people were fictionalized in the books but I did not like it when they were taken so far away from reality as to kill them. When I read it this time, though, it seemed fine.



    Hardy Bricker-Hollywood director of conspiracy movies and chapter 2 target for amnesia.

    Karl Sagacious-Head of the Snappers group of bug eaters.

    Theodore Magarac aka Theodore Soars-with-Eagles-Head of the Harvester group.

    Mordaunt Gregorian-Dr. Doom, the suicide doctor.

    Kevin O'Rourke-Child who has a condom forced on him at school which fuels the ire of his mother.

    Bernadette O'Rourke-His mother.

    Agnes Frug-The condom pusher.

    Horace Branchwood akd thrush Limburger-Talk show host and spokesman for rhe political right.

    Ned Doppler- TV newsanchor of Nightmirror.

    Tim Macaw-MBC anchor.

    Jane Goodwoman-Newspaper reporter.

    Ned J. Clancy-Senator from Massachusetts.

    Pearl Clancy-His mother and more.

    Nalini Toshi-Her nurse and more.

    Dale Parsons-Pathologist for CDC.

    Cody Duster-Limburger chief of staff.

    Penelope Grim-Victim of Gregorian who suffered from yeast infection.

    Seamus O'Toole-Clancy security chief.


    Remo performs more induced amnesia on someone and speaks of how it has been done on presidents.

    Remo is Remo Freud, Remo Cougar-Mellencamp, Remo Salk, and Remo Zimbalist, Jr.

    Remo says he and Chiun can't eat cheese.

    Chiun is hooked on the Home Shopping Network.

    Remo gets a FAX machine from Smitty. (Chiun calls it a pox machine)

    Chiun explains that Hindus eat only with their right hands since they wipe with their left.

    Chiun runs a man's hand through a credit card machine.

    CURE's budget is over 5 billion dollars a year.

    Chiun calls Jerry Lewis, Larry Jewish.

    Chiun said to be 5 feet tall.

    Chiun's night stalking kimono is black with short sleeves and skirts.

    Remo wears a two piece outfit like the old night tigers used to wear.


    Master Sambori was thought to have killed all the Spider Divas during the time of Mogul emperor Aurangzeb.


    Blue is a color not appropriate for food.

    Who would eat the dead meat of cows?

    I didn't know tits could have a thyroid problem. Remo, of course.

    I consign you to a place of no returning. Shiva.


    A new disease, HELP, is killing a group of bug eating fanatics. Remo is sent to see what he can learn. He finds an ancient cult of Spider Divas, old enemies of Sinanju. He also meets Thrush Limburger and finally meets Dr. Gregorian.


    This one was ok, not great but it has several good things going on. It just gets a little wordy at times.



    Lobsang Drum Rinpoche and Lungten Drub-Searchers for the Bunji Lama.

    Kula-The Mongol warrior.

    Poopi Silverfish-TV talkshow hostess.

    Squirrelly Chicane-Actress with many past lives one of which was as a princess of Moo and is now the reincarnated Bunji Lama.

    Julius-Her agent.

    Bev-Her book publisher.

    Imelda-Her maid.

    Warren-Her brother.

    Denholm Fong, Nigel, Lee, and Wing-Spies for China.

    Wangdi Chung-Beijing soldier.

    Bumba Fun-Alias of Tibetan resistance leaders.

    Ran Guohua-Chinese Captain.

    Kelsang Darlo and Paljor Norbu-Tibetans who are forced to dance with lightning.

    Fang Lin-Prison colonel.

    Doufu Itui-Chinese captain.

    Thondup Phintso-Tour guide in Dalai Lama palace.

    Yun Ting-Tank commander.

    Dra Drang-Mother of future Bunji Lama.


    Sinanju has an 800 number 1-800-SINANJU.

    Remo is Remo Brown, Black, Green, and Buttafuoco at teller machine to catch a robber.

    Called Gonpo Jigme by Tibetans. It means Shiva the Destroyer who is supposed to live in Tibet.

    Chiun performs Returning the Angry Coin when a knife is thrown at him. He directs the knife back at attacker point first.

    Chiun memorizes a long string of phone numbers for Remo. Yet they still use a series of ones to call Smitty.

    Smitty arrives at work each day at 6:01 AM.

    Remo has Smitty talk to CURE psychiatrist about his Shiva episodes to see if there could be some explanation.

    Smitty has his prune whip yogurt.

    Smitty also bought a 30 year supply of a discontinued after shave in 1972. My guess would be Hai Karate.

    Chiun packs one trunk for his trip but later Remo notices two trunks missing. Editor mistake I guess.

    Smitty pays credit card bills for Remo and Chiun and is happy that it is less than 50,000 dollars that month.

    Chiun has bought cases of Hair in a Can from the HSE, and uses some of it in the book.

    Fred Ward is mentioned as an actor who is losing his hair.

    The movie Hudson Hawk is mentioned, a Bruce Willis movie. No biggie but I have gotten ideas before that Willis is a Destroyer fan.

    Remo is rotating his wrists again.


    Master Pojji was once hired to kill a Dalai Lama. He did not know the Lama was a child until after the death. He swears to atone for his mistake but is never able. Chiun atones for it by returning the Bunji Lama.


    Bulldookey. Remo

    Humans say time passes. Time says that humans pass.


    When Chiun is approached to help find the Bunji Lama, he does. He then decides to help return the Lama to Tibet but does not want Remo to go. Remo is sent later because of damage that Chiun and Squirrely Chicane are creating.


    Too much of Squirrely Chicane in the book but it is still a good read. There is good use of satire on Hollywood. The problems of Tibet and China make this sound like the book was just written.



    Roger Sherman Coe-Chapter 2 mistaken target set up by Friend. Was supposed to be Roger Sherman Poe.

    Buzz Kutner-Black market computer seller from whom Smitty gets a new setup and then has him killed.

    Yokang Sako-Korean gunboat captain who sinks the sub Harlequin and steals the gold.

    John Paul Seabrook-Harlequin commander.

    Kim II Sung-Comatose Korean leader.

    Kim Jong II-His son.

    Bryce Ballard_IRS agent sent to audit Folcroft.

    Mr. Vonneau-His supervisor.

    Jane Kotzwinkle-Con Ed crew manager.

    Larry Lugerman-NYNEX inspector.

    Melvin Cowznofski-Con Ed worker.

    Carlton "Chip" Craft-CEO of XL Sys Corp, set up by Friend. Set up Quantum 3000 for Smitty in earlier book.

    Mark Murdock-US army sergeant in Korea.

    Kyung Cho Chi-Korean Colonel.

    Basil Hume-President of Grand Cayman Trust.

    Jeremy Lippincott-CEO of Lippincott Savings Bank where Folcroft has account.

    Miss Chalmer-His secretary.

    Eugene Morrow-Dies in elevator accident set up by Friend.

    Darnell Jackson and Troy-Gas inspectors for Friend.

    Harlan Richmond-VP of Minneapolis Federal Reserve Bank.


    Bodies are disposed of in a furnace at Folcroft.

    Remo whistles The Wayward Wind in the face of Hurricane Elvis.

    Remo is Bernard Rubble and Gung Ho.

    Sinanju contract is now 5 million in gold bullion a year.

    Chiun changes his heartbeat to fool Remo.

    Remo looks 10 years younger than his age.

    Book says Sinanju is only 3000 years old.

    The tribute delivery sub Harlequin is sunk by North Koreans in this book.

    CURE money now comes from FEMA. Originally it was siphoned from the CIA, DIA, NSA, and other intelligence operations. Through the years the CURE financial needs grew so much that another way of obtaining funds was needed.

    CURE has kept its operating funds of 12 million a year in Grand Cayman Trust in the Cayman Islands, acct #334-55-1953.

    To use the 1-800-SINANJU number, you first need the country code for North Korea.

    Remo enjoys watching Shari Lewis and Lambchop on TV.

    The three no's of Sinanju, no rice, no fish, no mercy.

    Chiun enjoys pointing out to everyone that Remo's eyes are looking more Korean.

    Chiun refers to a story as a "dead herring" instead of a red herring.

    Remo remembers Morse code. How?

    Remo performs the "Wedgie of Death" and the "Sinanju Swirlie".

    Smitty's email address was Smith@cure.com

    Chiun pokes his fingernail into a man's Adam's Apple and rips all the way down through his chest.

    Remo and Chiun live through an elevator accident by allowing themselves to rise as the elevator falls, they climb on the roof and jump to the walls to climb out.

    Later, a building collapses and they become feathers and float to the ground.

    Smitty has a flexible saw in his tie. He uses it to kill a car jacker.


    During WWII, in the Battle of Sinanju, Chiun fights off the invaders.


    You do not kill. We dispense correctly.

    One looks for one's future in places he has yet to go.

    Microwaves are bad.

    I am master of the Wedgie of Death. Remo


    It looks like the US economy is dealt a death blow when the computer systems all crash. Remo and Chiun are not available because the latest shipment of gold has disappeared and Smitty cannot replace it since all of CURE's money is gone, too. Looks like the work of an old Friend who is their worst enemy.


    I like this one. Very believable setup with all the computers crashing and wiping out fortunes. We also see Smitty in action again, which is always a plus for me.



    Maude "Irma" Smith-Mrs. Smitty.

    Eileen Mikulka-Smitty's secretary.

    Aldace Gerling, Donald Bex, and Murray Simon-Folcroft doctors.

    Jack Kolstad-IRS investigator.

    Greenwood, Reems, Skinner, Phillip Phelps, and Schwoegler-IRS agents.

    Richard Buckley "Big Dick" Brull-IRS supervisor.

    Wayne P. Turbo-DEA agent.

    Troy Tremaine-Police sergeant.

    Tony DeVito-Police sketch artist.

    Jeremiah Purcell-The Dutchman. Still living at Folcroft but his powers seem to be returning.

    Sam Beasley-Uncle Sam. Folcroft patient who escapes due to IRS stupidity.

    Jeremy Lippincott-President of Lippincott Savings and Loan.

    Wigglesworth-His driver.

    Miss Chalmers-His secretary.

    Rawlings-His bank manager.

    Basil Hume-Director of Grand Cayman Trust, the location of the FEMA money for CURE.

    Winston Smith-Remo, Jr. Sired by artificial insemination of Remo's sperm, taken his first day at Folcroft, and a nurse at Folcroft. Has his 21st birthday in the book. He is a trained Navy SEAL.

    Mahout Feroze Anin-Target for Winston and his talking gun.


    Smitty has been married for forty years.

    Smitty has only been late for work one time on 11-24-73 when he had a flat tire.

    Remo visits the grave with his name on it and has a vision of his mother, who looks a lot like Freya.

    Remo does not know his birthday.

    Remo uses last names Eastwood, Helmsley, and Lolobrigida.

    Chiun thinks the IRS is the IRA and calls then Irish barley drinkers.

    Dr. Kevorkian is called by his real name. Remo killed the fictionalized Dr. Gregorian a few books back.

    Folcroft is haunted by the Polarizer bunny and its drumming.

    Remo has an inner watch that is different from Chiun's. Remo knows the exact time all the time whereas Chiun can tell the hours after dawn or until sundown.

    Remo whistles "Whistle While You Work"

    Remo is rotating his wrists a lot.

    Chiun performs a partial frontal lobotomy on an IRS man using only his fingernails.

    Chiun calls the tax guys the "Taxidermists of terror"

    Remo and Chiun can hear Smitty's arthritic knee.

    Smitty's taxpayer ID 008-16-9314.

    During Remo's first week at Folcroft he just ate kimchee to leach poisons from his body. The second week he had water and during the third week he could eat cold rice.


    You must go forward because to do otherwise is to wither and die.

    He who dwells in the past has no future.

    He is a well known secret.

    The hamburger does not fall far from the tree.

    Banks are an invention of the Italians who as a race can only make their way in the world by levying taxes upon others.

    Safe as soap. Remo


    IRS and DEA agents converge upon Folcroft because of what Friend had done in book #96. While they are investigating, strange things begin happening around Folcroft as Jeremiah Purcell and Sam Beasley are released. Meanwhile, Remo and Chiun are trying to keep the Sinanju gold hidden from taxing eyes and Remo learns that he has a son.


    Crazy book. So much going on all over the place. Like most of the Gold Eagle books, it is a little too long but still very enjoyable.

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